To the Guy who Left Without a Goodbye

 

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I just want to start off  by saying you missed the best part. You missed what I turned into and what I am becoming. To this day I still don’t know why you left but the fact that I am blocked on all forms of social media lets me know that this must have meant something to you too. We were already amazing and I’m pretty sure I was in love and so were you.

It has taken me years to heal that wound and to this day it’s just a scab instead of the faded scar it should be. That’s because it’s constantly reopened every time I get close to someone else, maybe because I’m using what we had as a gauge for potential. Is this conversation easy? Does he feel  like home like you did? But I have to remember that you didn’t stick around so maybe what we had isn’t the best example for comparison.

I’ll never forget the conversation we had in your dorm room where we always hung out 24/7 when we both found out we both knew our best friends since the very first day of kindergarten. I remember you saying that if we knew each other then there would be any one else. You named old lovers and ex-girlfriends that in this alternate universe were just girls from school and that I would be your one and only and you mine. I replied by saying I agreed but you met me at a really weird place in my life was the truth. I had just ended a relationship with a man I thought I would marry and was wasting my time with another.

Even though you were doing the exact same, I saw your eyes change, the devastation had sunk in and I believe that was perhaps the moment you retreated. From that day forward, you were never the same and I watched as months went by and you treated me like a stranger. I wrote notes like a lovelorn teenager begging for an answer and I never did. After 6 years, I can say with certainty I never will so this is my farewell to you. I’m going to say goodbye; something you never did but I know you’ll never see this so in some way that makes us even.

So to the guy who left without saying goodbye. You have ruined everything from the Bronx Tale to Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros for me but not any longer. I am sharing this unrequited love story for some other girl who was hurt by some other you. I am finally getting it out and letting what could have been go because if you really wanted me or what we were building, you would have stayed. Instead, you are with her (I’m assuming since I’m blocked) and I hope you’re happy because I am.

Everyday since then has been happier since the day before. When I do reminisce these days, I see not only the good memories but the way you isolated me and made me invisible. That is when I am reminded I am worthy of someone who thinks I am enough and was well worth the wait. I know that you couldn’t have been the one because my great love can’t be some boy who took a masterclass in the silent treatment.

6 Signs Your Friend is Toxic and How to Leave

Have you ever had a friend say or do something that you thought was suspect but you thought, “Maybe I’m the one trippin'” or “Maybe they didn’t mean it that way”. Sometimes even our dearest and closest friends are having a bad day or are just upset and say something out of pocket but what happens when the slip ups keep happening and you’re beginning to wonder if this friendship is even friendly anymore? That is why you’ve come to this article after all right? To make sure you’re not the one trippin’ and your friend indeed is full of negativity and bad vibes and need to be removed? Well look no further, I’m going to tell you the signs I’ve learned from past toxicity.

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How to Write Affirmations in 7 Steps

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I wrote an article a few weeks ago on the power of sweet self talk aka affirmations.

Now I want to dig deeper into the topic and teach you how to write your own affirmations. Of course you can easily google affirmations and find a plethora of phrases but sometimes you want something more personal. The more meaningful the words are to you the more of an effect it will have on breaking down those limiting beliefs. So obviously the first step is:

     1.Write down a negative thought aka limiting belief.

Are your thoughts telling you things that aren’t true? Maybe that you’re not good enough? You’re not attractive? Not thin enough? Not deserving of the things you want? Never going to find love? Never going to be wealthy? Never going to be happy?

      2. Make an “I” statement

Write down your negative thought. For example, say your negative thought is, I will never find love. Take that sentence and try to turn it into a positive sentence.

     3. Write your new affirmation in the present

Let the universe know that you deserve this positivity right now! Not next week, not in a year, not when you think you as a person will be good enough. You are perfect, whole and complete. You deserve what you want at this very moment, all you have to do is tell the universe what you want. Once you place your order with the universe, it will shift and change in order to cater to you.

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      4. Don’t use words like want or need

When you use words like want and need, it is coming from a place of lack.  When referring to law of attraction, you get more of what you focus on. Therefore, when you think about lack you are attracting more lack into your life. Don’t feel guilt about there not being enough for someone else because you want. The universe is infinite and there’s more than enough for everyone, it’s just that not everyone asks. We are done bringing lack into our worlds! Let’s bring the love and wealth and success we deserve!

      5. No negative words

Do not I repeat DO NOT use any negative words when writing your affirmation. You gain certainty with positive words while negative words only lower your vibration and provide doubt.

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      6. Feel it!

When you begin to believe your words, you’ll start to get this good feeling.  Your vibration will begin to rise and the universe will give you proof that your thoughts are changing and your positive words are true. The universe loves to show you that you’re perfect, whole and complete and it can do that faster and easier when you feel great and you have confidence in your affirmations which in turn is confidence in yourself.

      7. Repeat and repeat and repeat and repeat……

Now that we have our affirmation, we need to keep saying it. Every time you say your phrase it is breaking down the negative thought and making room for your new positive one. In the beginning, try to say your affirmation 5 times in the morning and every time a negative thought you’re trying to break pops up in your mind. It also helps to look in the mirror when you do or place a hand on your throat to clearly feel the power of your words.

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By the end of this process, the negative thought, I will never find love should be turned into something like, I deserve love because I exist or I am loved by all. So grab a pen and some paper and let’s get started! You deserve EVERYTHING you want and the only person stopping you is you. Forgive yourself for not knowing this sooner and start making change right now!

Affirmations: The Power of Sweet Self Talk

“Self-suggestion makes you master of yourself.

W. Clement Stone

 

You hear them everyday and all the time. That inner voice. It probably sounds like your voice so you believe everything it tells you good or bad. Sometimes, you take what it says hits too close to hom. It may tell you that no one likes you or you’ll never find love. Maybe you start to believe that voice and you stop hanging out with friends or trying to meet new people because the voice has told you you’re undeserving and undesirable. There is a way to stop this voice and it’s by choosing what words you want it to say to yourself.  Yes it is that simple and I will show you how through the power of affirmations.

What are affirmations?

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Affirmations are a positive thought or phrase you say, read or repeat that will lead you onto a path of positivity. An affirmation helps you change the tune of the voice in your head and remind yourself that you are worthy of happiness and positivity in whatever form of life you choose. There are affirmations for love, career, health and beauty.

Does it sound crazy? A little but hear me out. It works. Here’s an article for you skeptics. How you think and feel about yourself truly affects your life and your choices and your future. It’s cognitive behavioral therapy!

What you think you become. If you think no one likes you and you’re going to be alone forever, chances are you’re going to not go out and stop hanging with your friends and eventually push everyone away until that thought becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Instead, imagine if you thought of something good. Maybe you tell yourself I deserve love solely because I exist. You say it every time the voice says otherwise, every time you’re afraid to go and talk to a new person, every time someone special enters your life and the voice tries to place bets on how long they will hang around until they see the “real” you.

The more you say it, you’ll begin to believe it. The first couple times you utter the phrase it will feel silly and foreign but in due time it will become second nature and inspiring! Those words will cause you to take more risks and be more confident and have you meet new people! It will take time but after a while the voice won’t be sending you words of self doubt but instead self love. Here are some ways to begin your sweet self talk:

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There are plenty of videos on YouTube either from Louise Hay or  her fans that are filled with affirmations. All you have to do it press play and listen. It’s okay if you don’t quite pay attention, affirmations are also heard through your subconscious and will help change your negative thinking patterns.

Here’s a video that I have used:

 

You can also listen to podcasts. I’m a big fan of Hay House Meditations. I listen to Louise Hay – Release Your Fears meditation on the train or before bed and it’s very calming and filled with reassuring affirmations. I highly recommend for those with anxiety. Here’s also another link to her meditations on Soundcloud.

Write

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You can write down your affirmations so you see them everyday. Whether intentionally or subconsciously. Write kind words about your body on your mirror so every time you see yourself you are reminded of your beauty and not your flaws. Write a prosperity affirmation on a piece of pretty paper and put it in your wallet. Every time you open your wallet you’ll be reminded of your wealth and the abundance of money. Write a list of affirmations in your journal and say them daily and pay attention to the subtle changes that happen everyday.

Reflect

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Now when I say reflect I mean mirror work. This may be the most uncomfortable way to work on affirmations but that’s because people aren’t always comfortable looking at themselves in the mirror. We’re too concerned with flaws we see and not the beauty that we possess. Take the list you wrote in your journal and sit in front of a mirror and say each affirmation 5 times. Why 5? Because the first 3 will feel silly and by the fifth you’ll start to believe it. The more you say the affirmation the more power they gain. Looking into your own eyes connects you to the body and soul you’re working on releasing your true potential.

Here are some ways to help you beat the voice into submission. Thoughts can be changed and you can become anything you want! It all starts with how you talk to and treat yourself. So try some of these out and tell me what works for you? Good luck, have fun and remember you are always enough!