I can say with complete confidence that I am perpetually single. I haven’t had a serious prospect in over 5 years and that’s okay. But what do you do when you’re tired of hoping for a spark between that Tinder match or one of your friends to hit you up to hang out over the weekend? You take your own self out! If there’s one person that you’re going to have to get to know and like whether you like it or not it’s yourself.
Imagine there’s a new restaurant that just opened and you want to go with your friends but they’ve all decided to magically go silent on the group chat, what are you going to do? You may say lie in bed and watch Netflix passive aggressively waiting for a reply but I’m going to pretend you didn’t. I’m going to also pretend you said take yourself out and I’m going to say, “that’s right people go by yourself! What’s stopping you? The fear of you thinking people are judging you? The fear of social anxiety? The fear of looking like a loser?”
Those are all fair fears to have but let me debunk them for you:
- I’m by myself therefore others are going to judge me
- I’ve got bad news and good news for you. It is none of your business what anyone thinks about you. So if someone wants to judge you for getting in some quality time with your favorite person, yourself then they are someone who’s opinion shouldn’t matter.
- Social Anxiety creeping it’s ugly head?
- Anxiety is just your mind being a bully. Anxiety has a habit of making things a MUCH bigger deal than they actually are. Trust me I know. So if someone looks over at you as you sit alone waiting for you amazing meal or whatever you plan to do; they could be judging you but I always like to think they secretly like my outfit or my hairstyle and are mentally complimenting me. It helps calm my nerves to think maybe they are just looking and not judging.
- I don’t want to feel like a loser
- First of all, you’re not a loser and I want you to stop thinking like that. You’re an amazing person and you bless people with your presence which is all the more reason to LEAVE THE HOUSE! Bless this world with your own unique beauty!
Imagine all the fun things you can do by yourself! If you need some help here’s a list:
- Go to a museum Most have days of the week where admission is free. Ain’t no shame in being budget friendly
- Go be in nature Take a walk in the park, sit by the ocean, etc etc
- Go to the cafe and buy your favorite drink and just people watch
- Take an interesting class It’s also a great way to meet new people and maybe new love interests. Check out Meetup or CourseHorse for classes and groups in your area
- Movies A classic and it’s very laid back and easy for anyone who has some anxiety about going out alone. All you have to do is pick a movie and stick down and relax.
- Detour while on an errands run Do a mini splurge before or after you run errands. Get your groceries and that new shirt you’ve been eyeing. Treat yourself!
- Netflix and Chill Yourself Sometimes you’ve just got to veg out and put on the pjs and relax.
The more you get out into the world and learn about yourself and what makes you happy and gives you passion, the more likely you’ll end up connecting with amazing people and maybe even your next love but most importantly get to know yourself and let the rest just come naturally into your life.