Forever Single? : What this Jan Brady learned from her Marcia Brady friends

Topic gif: MeTV

Has this situation ever happened to you? You and all your girlfriends go out for a night on the town. You’re dressed in your best whatever that may be and so are all your girls. After a fun pregame you call the Uber and head out. You get to the bar and see the BEAUTIFUL guy or girl (whoever you fancy) and they look over and you’re thinking to yourself, “Yes omigod omigod omigod be cool be cool”. They come over and just like something out of a 90’s teenage romantic comedy, they go over to your friend.

I guess everyone can relate to this situation but what happens when it keeps on happening and you’re starting to think you’re the invisible person? I started to call it being the Jan Brady of my friend group. If you haven’t seen the Brady Bunch (either the show or the movie), Jan is the middle sister and she’s a bit more of the quiet, shy, awkward side. Especially compared to her stunning and popular older sister Marcia. Marcia just seems to naturally draw people into her like a flame to a moth. My friends are the same way and I just can’t seem to figure out what the secret is? So instead of asking them, I just observed and here’s what I’ve noticed:

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Confidence is Key! (Obviously)

My Marcia Brady friends are almost always oozing this aura of confidence. They’re comfortable in their skin. They know what works for their body and what makes them feel like their best selves. I’ve taken a cue from them and stopped wearing what I think I was allowed to wear and what I wanted to wear. If I want to feel sexy, I’ll put on my thigh high boots and skinny jeans. If I want to be left alone, I will put on my combat boots and dark Lorde-esque lipstick. All that matters is that I feel like a badass.

They’re skilled in keeping a conversation.

The Marcias in my life know how to play the game. They can hold a great conversation. They know how to playfully touch a person where it’s not too aggressive or too friendly. They balance the line between sexpot and dead fish which is admirable. They know when to leave and leave the person wanting more. It’s fascinating to watch really. I’m still perfecting this but reminding yourself that you’re amazing and anyone would be honored to be in your presence truly helps my confidence when talking to attractive people.

They have no problem telling someone to back off!

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Thankfully, all of my friends have this trait. If a person any of us is not interested in comes up to us, we will politely dismiss them. Whether that be with standoffish body language or even a no thanks when asked to dance. If the person doesn’t get the hint, we will make it very clear and let them know to go take a hike. Not every person that walks into your life or wants your attention deserves it. Remember that and you’ll be saving yourself a lot of energy.

They never sweat it.

I personally used to do the exact opposite….okay sometimes I still do. When I get a number from someone I REALLY like I am over the moon. Then what follows right after is social anxiety about the rules of texting and calling. I’ve learned from my Marcias that it’s never that deep. If a person texts you then great and reply as soon as you want. If they don’t text back that’s their loss. Also it’s okay to double text but never do a triple. Also, if that person texts or calls back after weeks or months of radio silence, it’s probably because whoever they ignored you for has finally ignored them. So use that information as you will.

So this is what I’ve learned from my Marcias and I’m slowly learning to implement these skills into my own romantic conquests….when I have them. Hopefully, these will be helpful and empowering for you as well. We don’t have to be the Jans in the group. Every one of use deserves to be a Marcia dammit!

 

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